The tension
I had questions, but they were too broad to be useful.
I would open with “Do you have advice for a new grad?” and hope for magic. I needed a better way to turn what I had already learned about someone into a specific, generous conversation.
Chapter 01
I collected context before asking for time.
I saved Ruth's portfolio focus, the class we shared, and a research piece I genuinely admired. My notes became a reason to reach out—not a pile of facts.
A warmer invitation
Chapter 02
I prepared for curiosity, not perfection.
11s suggested a lead question about her transition, plus two supports for the moments after the answer. I had a place to return to if nerves made my mind go blank.
A conversation that could breathe
Chapter 03
I followed up with the detail that mattered.
Ruth mentioned a research community I should join. I logged it, thanked her with a specific note, and made the next conversation about what I learned after acting on her advice.
A relationship, not a transaction